Have you watched Willy Wonka and the Chocolate Factory lately? Is there anything more reliably fun than candy? Technology+sugar+ingenuity= endless possibilities.
What’s the first thing you want after a salty meal? Beside a nap.
Something sweet, right? Well then, Burger Night should offer something to satisfy that curmudgeon of a palate of yours.
Cheesecake was, and still is being considered. But candy is so varied and simple and small and fun. Having at least some candy on hand as a quick, cheap sweet tooth fix seems, at least, like a good place to start.
In the name of research, I recently took a drive to Jordan to Minnesota’s Largest Candy Store… that’s its name, not a verified fact. From the cities, head down 169 for about 35 minutes and you can’t miss the vast expanse of yellow everything on your right.
(Friday afternoon. There were well over a hundred cars there on Saturday.)
I went on a Saturday in September. Holy crap. Don’t go there on a Saturday in September. A sea of crazed, Greater Minnesota children with sugar lust will take you down.
I made it out alive with $33 worth of candy and soda.
I returned this past Friday afternoon for more… in the name of research. It was a much slower pace inside. I was able to talk with some folks there and found answers to the some questions pondered in last year’s Heavy Table article.
(Booty from trip #2, minus the fudge and box of Runts I ate on the way home. Runts are so good.)
Jim and his wife, with whom I spoke, but didn’t get her name, said that they opened “…oh, I don’t know, about 25, 30 years ago. When the kids were like this”, she held her 80 year old hand about 3 feet from the ground. She says her son Robert in the red suspenders handles most things now. It appears that her and Jim spend most of their time baking pies and other goodies.
MLCS started as just an apple barn, then they added a pumpkin barn, then a whole bunch of other stuff, like salsas, bbq sauces, jellies, pickled goods, baked goods and a selection of odd and obscure sodas that rivals their candy selection.
I asked where all the candy comes from. I figured most of it came from a big manufacturer, like Nestle. Wrong. Apparently, they get “…huge shipments all the time from everywhere.”
Some things are best left a little mysterious.
About a mile south there was a sign that said “BURGERS”. It’s just a reflex now.
If you’re going to MLCS, Clancey’s a good lunch option. The beef was overcooked, dry and leaner than I prefer, but it’s fresh, griddled and served on a great bun with American cheese. The fries are typical “damn shame” style dive bar krinkle cuts, but for $7.10 all told, not bad.
What did Burger Night learn from Minnesota’s Largest Candy Store?
That novelty candies are exciting and many, but fleeting. French strawberry taffy was cool once, but next time, make it a Laffy Taffy. A Good News bar is interesting and different, but next time, I’ll have a Snickers. Much like in the realm of hamburgers, innovations and nostalgia excite, but rarely result in quintessence.
It’s still a fun mini road trip from the cities, especially on a fall afternoon when the leaves are turning. MLCS is open until mid November.
